I suppose I had heard your personal testimony before but had forgotten that you and I have that common ground of anger and temper (along with one other, which I choose not to share at this time). You describe all the same gyrations, hoops, moods, responses and results that I too, have had as I tried tried tried till I nearly died, to control. Today I still wrestle with it all, but not as I once did. The mind is the battleground – it is the place where we must go when we leave the safety of His Spirit in union with ours – and I still often visit the battleground to do war, ironically with an enemy who is already defeated, but after a while re-realize that I need to leave the battleground and go back into the only reality & safety of HE. At age 62 I’m thankful beyond expression that God has taken me to the place where I now stand, in Him, but am hopeful that before I reach the end of this life’s journey He will have taken me further and deeper into union with Him so that one day I no longer desire to go to war in that battlefield of my mind, knowing that there is nothing for me there. I’m not there yet but ever so much nearer than I once was.
your loving friend and fellow in Him
Glad we share the same ’negative’ part of the Godhead in our humanity. I think where we may think a bit differently is that trying to control becomes acceptance; I stopped trying to get away from it; and began accepting my tempers and desires.
Our liabilities are really God’s asset and in the unity of the Holy Spirit our weakness becomes intercession. Same life; new reasons for being who we are created to be. We never lose our humanity; and our minds are great sorting grounds; but thankfully we don’t live in our minds but it is with the heart that we believe.
So, relax. You ARE going to be who YOU ARE. God is at work in you, to be and do to of His good pleasure through your temper and desires. Victory comes only one place; and your leap of faith … to believe that … will release you to accept the battleground of war … you aren’t meant to visit; … you are meant to GO TO WAR and claim victory; first for yourself and then for your enemies.
Be at peace;
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