Notes from Norman
The Obedience of Faith
By Norman P. Grubb
Then, just at this very occasion, He came to Gethsemane. At Gethsemane He said, “Oh, if it be possible, let this cup pass from Me.” That’s a separate Jesus. And then He says, “Not as I will, but Thou will.” Two wills. He’d just said there’s only One, and now suddenly says there’s two. That’s a paradox. Now, it doesn’t bother you when you know the union. If you don’t know it, it does bother you. And that’s why, until you know the union, you’re bothered by yourself and your weaknesses and your failures and your troubles and you’re self-bothered. Because you don’t know the union. When you know the union it doesn’t bother you about yourself. But it will turn up every now and then.
That’s what you might say the great adventure of faith was for Him, that for one moment He was tempted. In all points He was tempted, but we only know one specific point where He recognizes temptation, or when He followed it. That’s when He said, “I don’t want to die”. But He came to die! He’s going back on His very union. That’s temptation. As if He wasn’t the Father, if He were just Jesus Christ apart, Jesus Christ who didn’t want to die. Yes, that’s normal human…like my friend who hates her husband…doesn’t want to do something. That’s OK. That’s normal.
But then, you see, Oh, no, no, no, no. Not I. Not My will but Thine. Mind you it took Him 3 hours of bloody sweat to get that settled up. He had to go back and get settled up in Gethsemane because that was a tremendous occasion, that God would use Satan to take Him to the cross and be God using Satan. That was a tremendous issue…to see God in Satan. Now, see, the crucifixion was God’s cup…not Satan’s. That was a tremendous insight. The cup My Father’s given Me was Satan. God gave Him Satan.
So, I can only say that you can’t really understand the freedom in which you’re back as a self, a free self, until you know the union, because until you know that, while you’ve got separation, you’re afraid of yourself and you doubt yourself and you question yourself. You worry, “What about this, and what about that, what about my failures and so on?” And you’re failure-minded rather than success-minded. When it’s settled into me as the permanent fact, “I’m not I but Christ,” I’m not running myself. I’m not running it. It’s His show now. If I’m a mess, I’m His mess. Ok, off I go, enjoy life. I’m perfectly free! Because I know I’m not I. So I always say I live like with a great big wink! I’m myself, but I’m HE!
Well, the curious thing is that you come back as yourself. This is the secret. You become a totally free person as if it’s just you. It IS you. That’s why I always said to you that there’s never a bigger egotist on earth than Jesus Christ.
No one ever said a bigger “I” than He did. I am the way, I am the door, I am the life, I am the good shepherd, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. That looks like egotist, until you look inside Him. “Oh, no, it isn’t I. It’s My Father in Me. I only do what I see the Father do. I only say what the Father says. It’s the Father in me. It looks like me.” So you’ve got the curious paradox which the world always mistakes, and your fellow Christians mistake. They’ll say you’re full of pride. Or full of self.
You’re meant to be full of self. You’ll get back to be a total egotist. With a wink in it. Because you know it isn’t you, it’s He. But you are you. So you get the paradox.
Now comes the self as an asset. Until I know that this self is God-managed, I’m afraid of myself because I’ve been fighting as if I’m independent. Independent self is the flesh. Independent self is in the hands of the flesh because that belongs to Satan. It’s Satan-made independent flesh. It’s a lie. We have never been independent. The moment you’re redeemed, you’re remarried. The old marriage is out, the new one is in. The old marriage in the death of Christ cut you off from the old husband, sin and the devil. In the resurrection, you are joined to the new husband, Jesus Christ. So you never have been a widow or in-between. We act as if we become a lonely widow in between and there’s no such a thing. It’s a lie.
So an independent self is part of the flesh. But self can’t fight self. So when I’m tempted and I act as myself, I fear I can’t get out of my fears. If I forget I’m Christ and say, “I fear,” which I do, I’m a human and my humanity gets me. “I fear,” all right, while I’m in it I can’t beat it. I’m slipping back as if I’m an independent person in the flesh. And of course it’s a good practice.
Wait a minute, it isn’t your fear, because God’s your courage. And your fear is your jumping off point. It’s your adventure of faith. No, no, this gives me a chance to say, of course, God’s my courage and God puts courage through me when I’m terrified and I’ll remain terrified and yet I’ll act on God’s courage. But you see, the purpose of God, the art of God, the science of God, if you like, His utter purpose is to have totally free people. Because it’s by manifested sons that He manifests himself. Because the universal can only be known by it’s manifested form. You cannot know it otherwise. That’s one of the laws of the universe.
You are receiving this email because you signed up at http://www.normangrubb.com